It’s hard to truly understand just how unique the Kiloby Center’s approach is until you are actually participating in our program. First, the Center is the only U.S. addiction treatment center that focuses primarily on mindfulness. That, alone, makes the Center unique. In addition, the particular type of mindfulness used at the Center was developed by Scott Kiloby and his team of facilitators who work with people all over the world and who have developed Scott’s mindfulness approach in a way that truly makes it stand out even more. Mindfulness is not a new therapy. Even though most treatment centers do not focus on it primarily, many are starting to employ it slowly. Therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists have been employing it here in the West for many years. The practice of mindfulness, however, is thousands of years old, originating in the East.
Because of our unique approach, we want you to be as informed as possible when deciding whether to choose the Kiloby Center for the treatment of your addiction, anxiety and/or depression. Here are a few points to help you understand the approach and help you make the decision as to whether the Center’s approach is right for you.
- The Center tends to attract people who do not resonate with the 12 step approach, either because they tried it and it didn’t work for them or they have read articles about it and didn’t resonate with the approach. The 12 step approach tends to focus on prayer among other things. Although prayer is totally welcomed at the Kiloby Center, it is not the focus of our approach.
- The Center tends to also attract people who have tried traditional talk therapy and who found that it didn’t go deep enough for them. Many of our clients were involved with talk therapy for years and didn’t find the relief they were looking for. They resonate with our approach because they want to try something different.
- The Center also attracts people who prefer not to use a lot of medications for their recovery. Although medication can be needed and is prescribed in some cases, the Center’s approach is essentially a non-medication approach, focusing instead on how to release or dissolve painful emotions that medications like anti-depressants tend to only cover up or mask. The theory behind our approach is that, when medications are being taken, they often do not address the core emotional issues. Pills tend to mask feelings. They deal with symptoms only. With our approach, we want our clients to truly feel alive including feeling all emotions while learning to be with those emotions in a way that allows them to come and go, so they aren’t carried around. Mindfulness is a way to allow everything to be, while not hooking into or identifying with emotions and the thoughts that bring them about.
- If you are someone who has tried “talking out” or “verbalizing” your problems over and over but who has found that the problems do not seem to go away, the Center’s approach might be a good fit for you. We don’t do a lot of talking. Instead, we teach clients to be aware of thoughts, emotions and sensations, letting them pass on through, so that the mind doesn’t have to constantly ruminate on problems all day long. On the contrary, if you are someone who needs to talk about your problems a lot, the Center might not be a good match for you. Although we do encourage talking about some core issues, the point of the talking is to allow clients to find out exactly what belief systems and mental stories are causing suffering and then release those stories through direct observation of thoughts, emotions, and sensations. The result is more like an acceptance of everything that comes and goes in our awareness, without having to fixate on beliefs or mental stories. This leads to “being in the moment” more and feeling less stuck in the past and worried about the future. There is a deep peace available in the moment. This peace is not available when people are stuck in a cycle of overthinking.
- The crux of our work deals with self-esteem issues (which we call “deficiency stories”). Deficiency stories are core beliefs such as “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not worthy,” “I’m imperfect,” or some other belief that makes a person feel as if there is something fundamentally wrong with him or her. Many other treatment programs tend to focus on changing those kinds of thoughts. With our work, one does not change such thoughts by replacing them with better thoughts. Instead, we focus on showing people that these core identities are not who they are. These are false scripts that we picked up during childhood. Our Inquiry approach reveals the falseness of these stories. And when they fall away, we experience being in the here and now more naturally, and we are less in our heads overall. Therefore, replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts isn’t needed with our approach. Once a person sees that they are not someone who is “not good enough,” that core identity begins to fall away, leaving only the present moment as it is, without a need to replace that story with something positive. We find this to be a higher form of self-love, one that does not rely on the mind, but instead reveals a natural presence in our moment by moment experience. If that resonates with you, the Center is probably a good match.
- Another central component of our work is called “Trauma First.” In our Trauma First Approach, we focus on dissolving trauma from childhood. There is a strong, scientifically-proven link between trauma and addiction. Unresolved trauma often leads to relapse. Trauma can arise in various ways, through abuse, bullying, rejection by a parent or friends or any other event or events which left us unable to cope with pain/fear. When trauma is present, we tend to live in a fight/flight response and use alcohol and drugs to mask that pain. By focusing on trauma first, we find that clients have a much better chance at successful recovery. But, in order to truly benefit from our work, a person must be ready to face the trauma directly and dissolve it. We help clients face trauma in a gentle, humane and safe way. If you are someone who does not want to face trauma, the Center is probably not the right program for you.
- At the Center, we do not fill up each day with a lot of various activities that we feel do not deal with the fundamental issues. We tend to help clients focus on the fundamental issues such as deficiency stories, trauma, cravings, anxiety and depression so that they can find the relief that are truly looking for. Our approach works because we do not add a lot of superfluous, unproven activities just to fill up time and space during the day. One must be truly ready for this type of program. It goes very deep, producing a freedom and peace that is quite impossible to put into words. But to get clients to that place of peace and freedom, we focus our daily activities on therapies that work well. If you are looking for a Center that provides a lot of entertainment during the day, where the focus is on fun rather than transformation, the Center is probably not a match for you. We feel that treatment is not a vacation or like a retreat. The work we do goes deep because our approach is very therapeutic in nature. We teach our clients how to be with experience in a loving, accepting and open-hearted way. This takes daily practice. But the rewards are long-term. We give you the tools to continue to deepen into peace and freedom for the rest of your life.
After reading these points, if our approach resonates with you, give us a call to find out more. Our intake professionals are trained to answer every question you have. We want to take the time to make sure that the Center is a match for you and that you are a good fit for the Center.